Sunday, November 2, 2014

Hestia, Goddess of Hearth & Home

You may remember my post Pagan Homemaking, which focused a lot on Hestia and my experience with treating my entire home as a temple.  Well, I spent a lot of time doing a lot of research on Hestia, and I thought I would share what I have about her.  This has not yet been added to my Book of Shadows, and is in the rough draft form as of now - but this is all the information I have accumulated.  :)  Please keep in mind that this is the culmination of my research and personal experience; there's some information that is intended for Vesta included here, because I felt it appropriate.  I also did not record where I got most of my info from (something I'm trying to work on remedying) so much of the below are things that I've found on the internet, and may or may not be tweaked for personal use.  Now that my disclaimer has been added...  Enjoy!

Hestia

Goddess of Hearth & Home




Parents:  The first-born daughter of the Titans Cronus and Rhea.

Lovers:  Apollo and Poseidon both courted her at one time, but Hestia accepted neither (see: the Courtship of Hestia); Priapus once tried to rape her but ultimately failed (see: Attempted Rape of Hestia).  Hestia is a virgin goddess who was never married and never took on a lover due to her own choice.

Children:  None.

Domain:  Middle World.  Hestia is the hearth, the heart of the home, and the spirit of community within households, families, and communities.  She was given the keys to Mount Olympus and spends the majority of her time taking care of the massive home of the Gods.

Powers:  Goddess of the hearth, the home, altars, cooking bread, preparation of the family meal, sacrificial fires, family, households, feasts and banquets, and the community as a whole (macrocosm) as well as the individual (household and family as the microcosm).  Call upon Hestia under the following circumstances:


  • The Hearth & Altars.  Erecting a new altar, feeding an existing altar, performing altar maintenance - especially lighting sacrificial fires, establishing any permanent altar area, erecting sacred space, creating candles or lamps, lighting purification incense, building outdoor fires in a fire pit, barbecue, fire festivals, building a fireplace in a fire, hearth maintenance.  
  • Home & Household.  Making blue prints for a home, making an addition to your home, remodeling, redecorating, moving, relocating, selling your home, finding a new home, helping the homeless, a new addition to the household, family or social group (through marriage, dating, pregnancy, birth, becoming a godparent, becoming a foster parent, getting a new pet, etc), to get rid or say goodbye to someone in the household, family, or social group (through divorce, breaking up, moving out, moving away, death, re-homing a pet, etc), physically cleaning your home, house cleansings, transforming your home into a loving, warm, welcoming environment of which you can be proud, creating a happy environment, creating domestic bliss, welcoming domestic blessings, improving communication within the household, preparing meals for yourself, the family, household, and groups of people, hosting gatherings, tending to domestic responsibilities (such as mending clothing, washing clothing, repairing items, baking, cooking, basic cleaning, taking household inventory), general household and property maintenance, help with paying the bills and general survival, creating a stable home and home-life, budgeting, stocking the pantry, personal security, happiness.  
  • Purification & Solitude.  Purification of space, purification of self, alone time, ritual baths, ritual itself, meditation, asceticism, quiet reflection, active meditation (usually through cleaning), silence, alone time, private time, self-care, domestic hobbies (sewing, knitting, crocheting, etc), focusing on a task before you, unlocking doors and barriers within your own life, putting up boundaries, finding your passion, discovering your purpose in life, dealing with celibacy, doing only what makes you happy, being beholden to no one but yourself, being happy and complete with yourself, dealing with being an old maid, accepting that you may never marry, coming to terms with infertility, becoming grounded. 
  • Community & Others.  Politics, acting as a intermediary, calming down rough waters, finding the middle ground of a situation, dealing with matters of morality, ethics, kindness, order, and general "goodness" and "positivity," healing, nursing the ill, accepting your role in the community, giving time to charitable donations and community situations, parting ways from lovers, spouses, family and friends, dealing with authority and control, establishing expectations and rules, learning not to indulge in gossip and slander, keeping out of other people's businesses, listening to those who need to speak, giving sage council and advice only when asked, when attempting to build bridges between communities and groups of peoples, activism for social injustice, understanding between different cultures, community-building, breaking down of barriers between different groups, finding and focusing on similarities between groups (rather than differences).  
  • Traits & Aspects.  Invoking traits of hospitality, generosity, reciprocity, independence, comfort, nurturing, charity, maintaining your own independence within a relationship, self-reliance, self-sustainable living, seeking support, protection, purification, safety, coming to terms with self-sacrificing your own needs for the good of all, practical, efficient, frugal, virtuous, pleasant demeanor, happiness, personal security.  
  • Community & Others.  entering politics, acting as a intermediary, or trying to come to a middle ground in any situation, dealing with matters of morality, ethics, kindness, order, and general "goodness" or "positivity," caring for friends and family, healing, nursing the ill, coming to terms with being single, finding wholeness within yourself, independence, the idea of being an old maid, facing the fact that you may never marry, divorce, breaking up, coming to terms with authority, control, rules, etc 


Colors:  Warm, fire-related colors, such as shades of yellow, orange, and red.  The Vestal Virgins who honor the Roman counterpart of Hestia (as Vesta) wore white, and this color is also associated with Hestia, who is a goddess of virginity (both in the literal and spiritual sense) and purity.  Purple - especially in lavender tones - are also excellent colors for this goddess, for the color symbolism of spirituality, the connection to the third eye and crown chakras, and its associations with magick, ritual, spellwork, divination, and meditation.

Symbols:

  • The Circle & Coins.  Hestia was known as the "complete" goddess, one who was whole, and one who as "complete within herself."  Hestia was seen as not only psychologically centered, but also representing the literal center of the home and family, the community, the city, society, and the world itself - she WAS the flame within the hearth and sacred fire bowls.  The ancient Greeks accepted the notion of centricity in the earth as well as the universe, all the way down through the smaller, more intimate level of the home and even in one's self.  In ancient Greece, all of her temples and altars were round in shape, thus circles are her symbol both literally and figuratively.  Because coins are circles, and represent everything that a circle does, and because Hestia was traditionally represented upon coins, coins are also sacred to this Goddess.  
  • Fire, Torches & the Hearth.  The biggest symbol of Hestia is fire - the eternal flame.  The fire itself represents life, the warmth of the home, the passion that Hestia held for maintaining her sacred space (the home and community in general), purification, transformation, and being the central figure of authority (as in ancient times the hearth was located in the center of the home).  The flame was an eternal symbol that could never go out, though the ancients did follow this as a literal interpretation.  Every altar had a source of fire on it - a candle, an oil lamp, an hearth - and Hestia herself was known to spend her days joyfully tending the hearth of the Gods in Mount Olympus.  Every community had an altar with a hearth dedicated to Hestia - when a new settlement was created, a runner would take a torch from a pre-established communal hearth fire to the new one; this is where we get the tradition of the torch within the Olympic Games.  The hearth served as the center of the home; it's where the warmth flowed, where food was prepared, where Hestia was honored, and where the family gathered.  More importantly, Hestia was seen as more than just a Goddess, but the actual embodiment of all that the flame represents - she WAS the flame within the heart, within the fire bowl, within the candle or oil lamp.  One of the most powerful ways to honor Hestia is to utilize a fireplace, or otherwise create an altar with a candle - and if you can, have an LED candle light that you never allow to go out to represent her eternal flame without endangering the house to a disastrous fire.  
  • Bowl.  As a domestic goddess, Hestia spends a lot of time in preparation of feasts and dinners for her family and friends.  Thus, the bowl is highly sacred to Hestia, as are all things related to what is now known as kitchen witchery.  In ancient Greece, fire bowls were also common - and this can be an excellent alternative to a hearth inside the home.  Mixing bowls, offering bowls. chalices, and cauldrons are all excellent symbols to use for this goddess.  In addition, the bowl often represents the womb; while Hestia was a virgin goddess who did not involve herself in sex and romance, she was always a nurturing goddess who spent her days taking care of others simply because she enjoyed it.  She may not have given birth, but she acts just as much a mother as any other goddess who has.  
  • Altars.  Hestia is the goddess of altars, especially those featuring a sacred flame.  All altar creations, maintenance, and adornment are typically done with her favor and honor.  Hestia had an altar within every house, business and governmental building in ancient times; to erect an altar for her within your home or business is to honor her in one of the most ancient ways possible.  
  • Veil.  Whenever Hestia was depicted as a human form (most of the time, she was considered to be the literal representation of the heart of the home and community), she was always dressed and depicted as demure and chaste.  Part of this virtuous appearance included a veil that covered her hair.  This often represents her decision to not focus on her love life and ability to not let her ego and pride get the better of her - she had no one to impress and please but herself.  As such, she had no need to show skin or advertise her beauty through her crown (hair), because that was not what she wanted out of life.  Many pagans incorporate a veil when working with Hestia as they enter the circle, and remove the veil as a symbol of nakedness, of removing all layers of pride, ego, lies, and false appearances.  To her Hestia, they are raw, honest, and trusting.  
  • Keys.  Hestia was given the keys to Mount Olympus, meaning that she had complete authority and control over all aspects of the Gods' home.  The keys here represent that same authority within your own home, and also symbolically the key to your own potential and the opening of new doors.  It can also symbolize the shutting of doors and windows, i.e. letting go and cutting ties.  
  • Scents & Oils.  Lavender, chamomile, peony, iris.  Making an infused oil of these scents are great, but lavender essential oil in a carrier oil is best, due to its calming and intuitive effects.  
  • Herbs & Plants.  Parsley is purifying, grounding, transformative, and brings in happiness - this is the perfect herb to use as an offering to Hestia.  Lavender brings in peace, calm, and harmony to the home, and is quite appropriate.  Lemon is a purifying and cleansing fruit, traditionally used in cleaning, and can do wonders to lift the vibrations of the entire home.  Chamomile is soothing, calming, and relaxing, perfect for embodying what the home should be.  Cinnamon is an energetic herb that is use to warm the house, make it feel welcoming, draws in love, happiness, and wealth, and reminds us of the scent of baking.  Frankincense and myrrh are often used in combination with each other for house purifications, as they are energetically strong energetic transformers.  Basil is excellent for consecration, protection, harmony, peace, courage, and prevents theft within the home.  
  • Stones & Metals.  White stones are great for Hestia, since they represent the purity and virtuous aspects of the goddess.  Orange and fiery stones are also great, since she is considered a warm, caring fire goddess.  Clear quartz is an excellent stone, since it is known as a universal healer and instills great clarity - and since Hestia is a logical goddess who helps where she can, this is perfect.  Cherry quartz represents new hope, acts as an anti-depressant and anit-stress relief tool, dissolves tension, and a great healing and balancing stone.  Rose quartz is also ideal, since it can aid in bonds, strengthens relationships, and gives a soothing, calming atmosphere to the home.  Amethyst is an excellent for this goddess, since it emphasizes spiritual connection, aids in meditation, and boosts the third eye chakra.  I find brass to be the best suited metal for this goddess, though some also say that silver and gold are just as appropriate.  


Offerings:  First fruits, oils, libations of water, cakes in the shape of calves, cows (or beef).  Aromatic herbs are always appropriate.  When creating a family meal, it is common to take a portion of the meal and drink before the meal has started, and to take some leftovers afterwards in honor of Hestia (but you may feed these to pets, such as cats or dogs, eaten later by you, given to nature, or gifted to someone in need of food).  A LED candle is a good offering to this deity, as you can leave the candle burning day and night, and change the batteries out as part of your altar maintenance duties (which are sacred to her to begin with) to represent the eternal fire of the goddess that can never be extinguished on the earthly plane.  A good alternative to candles for Hestia are also oil candles.


Hestia is the first and last born of the Olympian gods, eldest daughter and child of Cronus and Rhea, and sibling to the other Olympian gods (Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, Hera).  Because she is known to be first born of her mother, and last to be born through the regurgitation of her father, she is honored first and last in everything.

Physically, she is a mature woman who is perfectly demure.  She always wears long dresses, with her hair tucked back under a veil.  Hestia is never seen as provocative or sexy, but she is viewed as confident, demure, peaceful, and kind.

As a virgin goddess, Hestia has chosen a path of solitude, and often, celibacy.  This is not the traditional interpretation of virginity within Ancient Greece, but this is the route that Hestia chose for herself.  Rather than care for a husband, she proclaimed that she would be beholden to no man; however, her generosity and hospitality leads to her serving them out of sheer enjoyment and kindness.  This is a goddess who does nothing but what makes her happy - and tending the hearth fire, maintaining the home, and being the perfect hostess is what makes her most content in life.

She is considered the embodiment of the sense of community and devotion to one another both within households, families, and communities at large.  Hestia is often seen as a political goddess, and a very efficient mediator, always working on the side of good and morally pure.  She gives help and comfort to those who seek it, and never demands more than one can give in return, even if that is nothing more than a thank you or a donation of energy.  On a more personal level, she is the goddess that presides over the harmony within the household (as well as the community), and can be the one to call on to improve communication and relationships with those you live with, are related to, or associate with.  Hestia is rarely seen as a person within ancient art because she was considered a more abstract deity - the very embodiment of the faith, devotion, and moral obligations that we all feel to ourselves, our families, our households, and our communities.  She was the sacrificial altar flame that was never permitted to burn out - if a new village was established, it was common practice to light a torch from a pre-existing communal fire (which existed in all political and governmental structures), carry it to the new village, and light the communal fire from the torch there.  There is evidence that the original fire - or when one did not have access to a communal fire, but needed the fire to be lit - they would use the power of the sun on mirrors to create the flame rather than through the more mundane method of rubbing sticks together.  The eternal flame has always been a symbol of Hestia, but it also represents our own inner passion and devotion, as well as that of the divine.

Hestia is honored first and last, as already established.  Just as all oaths are sworn to Zeus, so too are they sworn to Hestia - and Hestia likes to see oaths and promises kept.  To light a candle or other open flame on an altar is to evoke Hestia herself - for she is the eternal altar flame.  She presides over all rites and rituals, even those as mundane as cooking and eating as a family - she should be honored before and after the ritual (some give offerings of food and drink before it is consumed, and again afterwards).

She is attributed to the creation of houses as structures, and as such, is sacred to those involved in architecture, building structures with your own hands, remodeling, redecorating, and moving.  As such, her domain is centered within the home and is related to all responsibilities and duties typically performed within a domestic lifestyle - being self sufficient, taking inventory, making the things you need, shopping, canning, baking, cooking, get-togethers and parties at the home, cleaning, house cleansing, chores, organization, decoration, and making the home a warm, welcoming place.

Few temples and shrines existed in honor of Hestia, because every governmental building, business, and home had an altar that everyone tended to.  This goddess is sometimes paired with Hermes, in order to offer a balance between feminine and masculine, but also to represent the home and within oneself (through Hestia), and the world outside and the people there (represented by Hermes).

There is something peaceful and calming about Hestia.  She forever strives to maintain a harmonious balance among all those she meets, and takes pride in her work - no one forces her to clean or act as hostess.  She willingly chose her lot in life, and is completely fulfilled and content with what she is doing.  This encourages us all to find what it is we love to do, and to do it frequently.


Myths


The First & Last Born.  Hestia is the first child and daughter of the Titans Cronus and Rhea.  When Cronus discovered from an oracle that his own son would someday overthrow him, he began to eat his own children, just to be safe, starting with Hestia.  Rhea tricked Cronus with her last born, Zeus, by giving him a rock to eat instead; he had horrible stomach pains, and regurgitated all the children he ate in reverse order, thus "giving birth" to Hestia last.  Zeus then overthrew his father, and his siblings all took their place as the Olympians and ruling gods.

Attempted Rape of Hestia.  While at a merry gathering hosted by Hestia's mother, Rhea, all ate, drank, danced, and were merry.  Hestia, quite tired from the day's events, and quite tipsy from the amount of wine consumed at the banquet, decided to lay down for a rest.  Priapus, seeing the goddess sleeping to soundly and beautifully before him, not knowing that she was Hestia rather than a common nymph, is overcome with love and the desire to rule her; and as he approached her sleeping form with nothing but ill intent, the braying of a donkey woke the sleeping Hestia.  The goddess woke suddenly, screamed upon seeing Priapus hovering over her, and brought the attention of those within the party.  Priapus promptly flees, fully embarrassed.

Courtship of Hestia.  While this is not a historical myth, it does a lot to demonstrate the personality of the goddess.  Poseidon and Apollo both fell in love with Hestia, and both attempted to enter a courtship with her with the intent of marriage.  When each found out the other had an interest in the same goddess, the forces of sky and sea began to be turbulent.  Hestia, as a political woman intent to follow her own bliss, approached Zeus and informed him that she desired neither as a husband, but instead would prefer to remain a virgin goddess, beholden to no one but herself.  Relieved at avoiding such a disastrous war among the gods, Zeus accepted Hestia's wishes and gave her the keys to Mount Olympus, to which she had complete control as her primary domain.

Abdication of an Olympian.  While this is not historically accurate, there is a myth used for Hestia within pagan communities, especially those that honor Dionysus.  This myth includes the rising popularity of Dionysus as the god of the Wine and Merryment, wishing to take his place within the circle of Olympians as a powerful deity.  There were, however, no seats available, and Zeus refused to change the order of the ruling universe to incorporate Dionysus as the 13th Olympian.  Hestia, feeling compassion for the God, decided to abdicate her throne to Dionysus in favor of tending the hearth fire.


The Spoken Word


Homeric Hymn to Hestia.  A beautiful, rhyming invocation of Hestia, to be used while lighting her sacred flame upon her altar.

Hestia, in the high dwellings of all, 
both deathless Gods and men who walk on earth, 
you have gained  an everlasting abode and highest honor: 
glorious is your portion and your right.  
For without you, mortals hold no banquet - 
where one does not duly pour sweet wine in offering to Hestia 
both first and last.  

Orphic Hymn to VestaHestia.  A non-rhyming alternative invocation of Hestia, to be used while lighting her sacred flame upon her altar.

Daughter of Saturn [Cronus], venerable dame,
Who dwell'st amidst great fire's eternal flame; 
In sacred rites these ministers are thine,
Mystics much-blessed, holy and divine.  
In thee, the Gods have fix'd their dwelling place, 
Strong, stable basis of the mortal race.  
Eternal, much-form'd ever-florid queen, 
Laughing and blessed, and of lovely mien; 
Accept these rites, accord each just desire, 
And gentle health, and needful good inspire.  

Meal Prayer to Hestia.  A prayer requesting Hestia's blessing over a meal.

Sacred scents of Sky and Earth
Fill our home with health and mirth.  
Bless our travels, return to heart, 
Hestia's blessings to impart.  
Peace and safety, love and light, 
Respite, solace, compassion bright, 
Warmth of family, steadfast and true, 
Laughter of friendships, old and new
Gentleness, kindness, glowing flame, 
Hestia, Hestia, I call your name!  

Veiling Prayer {Hestia}.  A prayer said while veiling and unveiling one's hair for intense spiritual reasons.


Beloved Hestia, 

Please bring your flame of Divine Love into this household 
And light the fire of kindness, compassion, and understanding 
Within everyone who lives in and visits this our home.  
Help us burn away any fears concerning love, 
And to feel warm and secure.  


Daily Prayer to Hestia.  A prayer that is said as one rises and goes to sleep, requesting blessings from Hestia.

Beloved Hestia, 
Please bring your flame of Divine Love into this household 
And light the fire of kindness, compassion, and understanding 
Within everyone who lives in and visits this our home.  
Help us burn away any fears concerning love, 
And to feel warm and secure.  


Magickal Activities


Domestic Bliss Powder.  Use to encourage harmony and openness in relationships, both as a preventative measure and after arguments.  This can also be used as an offering to Hestia.

Sprinkle in a room, leave in a small glass or bowl, burn on a charcoal dish, or use as an offering to the goddess Hestia.

Ingredients
1 part lavender
1 part sage
1 part rosemary
1 part salt

Instructions
Hold each ingredient in your hand.  Feel its energy.  Take a few deep breaths, aligning yourself with those energies.  Speak to the herb, requesting that it awake and use its essence aligned to your intentions.  Add each to the mortar and pestle, stating the properties you want to awake.

"Lavender, I ask that you aid me in this working, and lend your calming, healing, and protective energies to this concoction."  

"Sage, I ask that you aid me in this working, and lend me your purifying, cleansing, and transformative energies to this concoction."  

"Rosemary, I ask that you aid me in this working, and lend me your purifying and banishing energies to this concoction."  

Focus on your intent of purificaiton, transmutation of negative energy, and encouraging positive calmness (domestic bliss).  Grind the herbs clockwise until a find powder has appeared.

Chant "domestic bliss" while visiualizing, holding the mortar and pestle full of the herbs in your hands.

Charge the powder with your personal energy by holding your hands in a triangle over the herbs.  Breathe deep.  With each pulse of the heartbeat, send energy into the herbs.

Charge the herbs under the dark or full moon, if possible.

This powder may be combined with salt to transform negative energy into positive energy, much like a sieve.  If using the salt, you should not burn the concoction as an incense.

Household Protection #1.  To keep the energies up and happy between house cleansings, specifically to protect against outside energies and forces.

If you find that your household is being rocked by an outside influence, try the following potion.  This is for minor disruptions, to add an extra layer of protection around your home, and to uplift the energy.  If you have experienced a major argument or other energetic shift, you may need a full-blown house cleansing.


Ingredients
Dried parsley
Pot of water
Spray bottle or bowl


Instructions
Hold the parsley in your cupped hand.  Speak to it, asking the parsley to work with you.  Feel the energies of the parsley, and align with those energies while breathing deep.

"Parsley, I ask that you aid me today in this working, and lend your protective, purifying, and happy energies to this concoction.  I ask that you create happiness within my home through your transformative powers of purification."

Add the parsley to a pot of water boiling water.  Take off the fire immediately; allow the water to steep for 9 minutes, or until cooled.  Strain the water and add to a spray bottle.  Spritz this potion around your house, concentrating on rooms where disturbances have been lately, and especially around doorways, windows, chimneys, and other openings to the outside world.  Alternatively, you can pour the water (strained or unstrained) into a bowl and asperge the home.

Hestia Dinner Ritual.  Invoke Hestia while cooking and ask her to infuse your food with blessings.  For specifics, see the same listing under the Celebrations section below.

Lemon Wash.  Spray on doorknobs, doors, doorways, floors, in rooms, and a little down drains to dispel negativity and bring in peaceful, calming vibrations.

As part of a monthly cleansing ritual around the full moon, you can create your own lemon wash to dispel negativity and invite peace, love and calmness into your home.  This is best used when paired with a ritual cleansing, but can be effective alone.

Ingredients
1 lemon
2 cups water
3 drops lavender oil
Spray bottle
Citrine

Instructions
On the full moon, hold the lemon in your hand.  Connect to its energies.  Ask the lemon to work for you, and awaken its energies.

"Lemon, I ask that you aid me today in this working, and lend your powerful cleansing and purification energies.  I ask that you raise the vibrations within my home, driving out negativity, and leave behind fresh happiness and content."

Peel the lemon, saving the rind.  If you have no immediate plans for it, simply bag it up and throw it in the freezer.

Add water to a bowl.  Squeeze all of the juice from the lemon into a bowl.  Visualize the lemon's cleaning powers infusing the water around it, making it all glow yellow, then a brilliant golden-white.  Mix clockwise.  Strain into a water bottle.  Add a citrine to the mix and remember to shake before use.

Use this mixture to dissipate negativity around the home by spritzing the room, or otherwise spraying on doorknobs, floors, windows, and doorways.  Pour a little of the remaining water down every drain in the home.

Hospitality.  While this isn't exactly a magickal activity, it is a strong virtue that is associated with Hestia.  Hospitality is the act of showing kindness and sharing with others, usually guests.

Following is an excerpt to my rough draft article on hospitality, written in connection to Hestia.

Hospitality is about being welcoming and at someone else's service, usually guests.  A hospitable person will greet someone at the door, treat the guest pleasantly, invite them inside, and offer food and drink.  If the guests is in need, and the host or hostess has the ability to provide, hospitality says it should be done.

Historically speaking, refusing someone hospitality could mean ultimate death for that person - it was saying that they did not care if one lived or died out in the cold.  This was a time where the weather was harsh; there were far fewer houses than there are now, and no convenience involved in lighting, warmth, and comfort.  Many powerful gods took on hospitality as a virtue - such as Odin and Zeus - and encouraged their followers to engage in hospitality.

This sort of thing could come in the form of being a good host or hostess, or go as far as inviting someone to stay the night in your home.  Caring for the ill also falls under hospitality, but usually when dealing with those that do not live in your home.  Generally speaking, hospitality means sharing the best of what you have with someone who is in need - and this doesn't have to necessarily be money or material possessions.  Giving someone insight and help in a dire crisis, even if it's just emotional support, is critical.  Kindness, generosity, reciprocity, and social justice can all be part of the act of hospitality.

While having hospitality is a good thing, especially in an age where everyone seems to be extremely excluded socially from one another, having healthy boundaries are a must.  Respect should be given within your home and with what you offer; someone who continuously takes advantage of your kindness should not be permitted to do so.  Knowing how far you're going to help someone is key - giving someone the last bit of food in the house is perfectly fine if you're able to procure more; but if you're flat broke and have no access to food, but the person you're being hospitable to does, then there should be no guilt or shame associated with setting your boundary on that one thing.  You should never put yourself, your family, your household, etc in jeopardy while trying to help someone.

Likewise, you can only help someone if you are in a position to do so.  If you are desperately in need, but have the ability to help someone else, by all means, do it if you feel called.  But if you're in a position where help would be much appreciated, there is no shame in admitting it.  The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like; by being hospitable, you attract hospitality.  You should never be ashamed of accepting hospitality when you are the one in need.

Hospitality isn't done to get anything back; if this is why you're exercising hositality, then you are approaching the situation from the wrong point of view.  Hospitality is about helping your fellow man, about connecting with others, and being charitable to those in need of your help.  It's about service to others, showing your appreciation.  For those who practice hospitality for a deity (such as Odin, Zeus, Hestia, etc), the very act of hospitality is a way to honor that deity and to become closer to them.

Odin's Rites of Hospitality touch on this virtue in the Hávamál, as well.  The Hávamál states the rules and expectations regarding hosts and guests, generosity, reciprocity, and charity - all virtues with which can be incorporated into one's path on a daily basis.

Likewise, the hospitium (Greek for hospitality) was a virtue that was used in ancient Greece, and possibly by modern reconstructionalists.  Hospitium is a concept of hospitality as a divine right of the guest and a divine right as a host.

Cleaning Chant.  This can be chanted to oneself while cleaning, especially when you want to infuse your home with loving energies (rather than negative ones from a bad attitude about cleaning).

I circle my hearth from without
And I focus the work of my hands; 
I circle my hearth from within
And I focus the work of my heart; 
Every work of my hands is a victory won
Everything that I do is another thing done.  

Prayer to Hestia.  A simple prayer that you can say to this goddess at any time.  I prefer to use it as a closing prayer after invoking or otherwise spending time with Her.

Hestia, 
Keeper of the flame
Goddess of the Hearth
Gentle Hestia, 
Eternal Virgin, 
Sister, Daughter, 
Veiled one
Bless this the hearth 
Of Thy sister, 
She who comes 
Veiled before you
May the flame 
Never be extinguished
May your blessing and spirit
Always abide here. 

Celebrations


There aren't many days reserved for honoring Hestia, since she was honored on a daily basis in everyday life.  Just remember:  all celebrations in Hestia's honor typically involve a sacred fire of some sort, and usually homemade food.

Hestia Daily Cleaning Ritual.  This ritual is attached to a daily cleaning routine in order to bring in a more spiritual atmosphere to cleaning.

Purification of Self.  Shower or otherwise bathe as normal.  Get dressed, throw on some makeup, spritz yourself with body spray, brush your teeth, and put on deoderant.  For your last step, wrap your hair in a veil (or, if you don't have one available, just put your hair up in a ponytail) while saying the Veiling Prayer {Hestia}:

Hestia, 
Keeper of the Flame, Goddess of the Hearth, 
Gentle Hestia, 
Eternal Virgin, Sister, Daughter, 
Veiled One, 
Bless this the hearth of they sister, 
She who comes veiled before you
May the flame never be extinguished
May your blessing and spirit always abide here.  

Gathering of Items.  Use this time to gather all of your cleaning supplies - your cleaning caddie, toothbrush, scrubby, microfiber cloth, cleaning cloth, all-purpose cleaning spray, glass cleaner, and Lemon Wash, as well as anything else you might need to accomplish your goals today.

While you're at it, throw the cats, dogs, or any other pets that will interfere, outside.  By doing this you will ensure that there is no troublemaker batting at open candle flames, incense, or knocking over other sensitive objects.

Honor Hestia.  Take a moment to go to Hestia's altar and tend to it.  Remove any ash that may be there, trim the candle wick, remove any offerings that need to be removed, wipe off the counter/area.  Choose an incense and set it up on the altar.

Anoint yourself on the forehead and wrists with oil dedicated to Hestia.  This should be done in her symbol.

Lightly tap the gong to signal the beginning of the ritual.  Light Hestia's sacred candle and invoke her using the Orphic Hymn to VestaHestia:

Daughter of Saturn [Cronus], venerable dame,
Who dwell'st amidst great fire's eternal flame; 
In sacred rites these ministers are thine,
Mystics much-blessed, holy and divine.  
In thee, the Gods have fix'd their dwelling place, 
Strong, stable basis of the mortal race.  
Eternal, much-form'd ever-florid queen, 
Laughing and blessed, and of lovely mien; 
Accept these rites, accord each just desire, 
And gentle health, and needful good inspire.  

Hold the incense in your hand.  Give the incense intent - to make a clean, loving, comfortable, supportive home environment.  Light the incense from the flame of the candle.

Give Hestia an offering of an herb of some sort or perhaps a bit of the Domestic Bliss Powder while reciting the Daily Prayer to Hestia:

Beloved Hestia, 
Please bring your flame of Divine Love into this household 
And light the fire of kindness, compassion, and understanding 
Within everyone who lives in and visits this our home.  
Help us burn away any fears concerning love, 
And to feel warm and secure.  

Sit down and meditate on Hestia, preferably while holding a crystal or other item that has been dedicated to her.  Perform any exercises or meditations that you choose to connect with Hestia at this time.  When you're ready, rise, stretch, and start your cleaning routine.

Lightly tap the gong to signal the end of the ritual.

Grab your cleaning caddy and get to work cleaning the home, following your typical daily routine.  Each time you finish cleaning a room, take out the Lemon Wash and spray the room to reset the energy.


Hestia Dinner Ritual.  A ritual designed around cooking to bring in and ask Hestia to bestow blessings upon my meals.

Clean your space - you should never intentionally call in a deity to a messy place.

Ground and center.  Anoint yourself with appropriate oil dedicated to Hestia, making her symbol on your wrists and forehead.  Invoke Hestia by lighting her candle and reciting the Oprhic Hymn to Vesta/Hestia.

Daughter of Saturn [Cronus], venerable dame,
Who dwell'st amidst great fire's eternal flame; 
In sacred rites these ministers are thine,
Mystics much-blessed, holy and divine.  
In thee, the Gods have fix'd their dwelling place, 
Strong, stable basis of the mortal race.  
Eternal, much-form'd ever-florid queen, 
Laughing and blessed, and of lovely mien; 
Accept these rites, accord each just desire, 
And gentle health, and needful good inspire.  

Light incense from the candle's flame.  Begin to prepare your meal as normal, taking the time to hold each item and infuse it with your intentions as you go along.  Add spices to the meal for magickal purposes as well as culinary.

I add these spices to the meal, 
Let our home mend and heal.  
Bring us love, bring us peace, 
May our hearts be at ease.  

Once the meal is complete, say a prayer over it, such as the Meal Prayer to Hestia.

Sacred scents of Sky and Earth
Fill our home with health and mirth.  
Bless our travels, return to heart, 
Hestia's blessings to impart.  
Peace and safety, love and light, 
Respite, solace, compassion bright, 
Warmth of family, steadfast and true, 
Laughter of friendships, old and new
Gentleness, kindness, glowing flame, 
Hestia, Hestia, I call your name!  

Remember to reserve a small portion of your meal for Hestia, right off your plate, before serving.  To represent the offering that comes last (remember, she is honored first and last!), leave a little leftovers in the pots and pans.  Feed these leftovers to the cats, or eat them yourself at a later time to imbue yourself with Her sacred energy.

House Cleansing.  Hestia can be the recipient of honor through a ritualized house cleansing, performed either on a monthly basis, or according to the season.  You could ask Hestia to be present, and guide you to embody all of her positive qualities in order to make a loving, warm, harmonious environment for you and yours, and to invite in all the blessings of domesticity.

Fire Festivals.  As a fire goddess, you could honor the goddess Hestia during the times of the year that are traditionally associated as fire festivals - Imbolc, Beltane, Lammas, and Samhain.

Good Friday.  In modern Greece, a similar rite to the Pryataneia still takes place on Good Friday, when people light candles from a central flame at church and carefully bring home the lit candle. This flame is considered to be especially sacred and purifying.  Perhaps this could be converted into a purification ritual - start a fire in the hearth (or light Hestia's candle), and have a white candle for every room of the house at the ready.  Ceremoniously light each white candle from the central flame, and bring it to the appropriate room with the intention of burning away all negativity and unwanted energy.  Allow each candle to burn down to nothing.  This would be especially good with white chime candles that have been charge with purification and transformative energy.

Pryataneia.  Essentially, this is a celebration of the birthday of Hestia, or the foundation of the communal fire within a permanent Greek colony within Egypt.  This festival was celebrated through a feast in Hestia's honor, with homemade bread, pork, in-season vegetables, eggs and cheese, figs, cake, and a garland made for her honor.  Because this festival is about the foundation of something, you can realistically use Pryataneia to celebrate the day that you moved into your apartment, bought your own home, or started your spiritual path.  This could be just as effective by having a mini feast featuring roasted pork (perhaps a crock pot meal, or maybe even barbecued pork with potatoes, onions, and carrots), a cake, and deviled eggs.  I could do a ritual later on that day celebrating the spirit of the house, and thanking Hestia (as well as the household spirit) for working with me.  This would be a good time to remember any major events that have happened over the past year and to reflect on how to better work with both Hestia, the household spirit, and the rest of the household to maintain a better harmonic atmosphere.

Vestalia.  This is a celebration for Vesta, the Roman coutnerpart of Hestia, from June 7 through the 15th.  While I'm not saying that Vesta and Hestia are the exact same goddess (both have a different energy to me), this celebration could be modified to fit in as a celebration of Hestia.  Vestalia was celebrated by:

  • Open Temple.  The temple was made open to the public at this time, so that those who wished to honor Hestia could do so.  Only women were permitted to enter the temple, and must take off their shoes before doing so.  Any offerings that they would like to give were accepted at this time.  I'm not really sure how this could be incorporated in real life, other than creating a temporary altar outside of the home in a secluded area, or in a main room of the home, sectioned off for privacy.  Perhaps putting up a temporary honorable area dedicated to Hestia - instead of having a general altar, have one dedicated solely to her at this time?  Perhaps a sort of art gallery type of thing to honor and represent the goddess?  
  • Sacred Cakes.  Water for this was carried in consecrated jugs from a holy spring, and was never permitted to come into contact with the earth.  These cakes were made by hand, and cut into 8 slices, each given as an offering to the goddess each day of the celebration.  Ideally, this cake would be round (though in the historical sense, a cake could actually be a loaf of bread, a muffin, or our idea of a modern cake).  This could realistically be accomplished today by perhaps purchasing a gallon of purified spring water and infusing it with full moon energy - thus using this in all baking that is dedicated to the Goddess, and to give to her as a libation alone.  
  • Mola salsa.  Mola salsa was a mixture of coarse-ground emmer flour and salt prepared by the Vestal Virgins and used in every official sacrifice.  Mola salsa was sprinkled upon the altar, thrown into fires, and used to anoint all things that were going to be sacrificed to the goddess in ancient times.  You could make your own at this time by purchasing wheat and salt, grinding it yourself, and keeping it in a jar for use throughout the year to be used as an offering (rather than for sacrifice), and to ritually purify a sacred space.  In ancient Rome, this concoction was often burned in the turibulum, or incense burner that is used for household worship.  
  • Ides of June.  The last day of Vestalia - the Ides of June - became a holiday for people who worked with grain, such as millers and bakers.  They took the day off and hung flower garlands and small loaves of bread from their millstones and shop stalls.  While I'm not one such worker, this could be a time in which I prepare dough to be frozen - a year's worth of baked goods to honor the goddess - and other hand-made things to be offered to Her for the duration of the year, such as ritual incense, domestic bliss powder, ritual candles, ritual oils, clay items for ritual use, etc.  I could also create garlands in her honor, or other ritual jewelry and tools that would be dedicated to Her.  
  • Temple Cleansing.  At the end of Vestalia, the temple virgins (the Vestales) thoroughly cleaned the temple in its entirety - a spring cleaning, if you will.  This could be done as the date set for a summer cleansing ritual, which would focus on an intensive, detailed cleaning of the home accompanied with a ceremonial house cleansing to purify the area of any unwanted energies.  A blessing broom could even be used for this energetic cleaning, something traditionally made around Litha.  Perhaps this would be a good time to consecrate and dedicate (or re-consecrate and re-dedicate) any objects that belong to this goddess.  
  • Gratitude.  While this not a historical practice, the practice of gratitude could be incorpoated into this holiday.  It is, after all, a celebration of the Goddess - why not thank Her formally for all that she has already done for you throughout the year?  This would be a good time to make offering stones, art work, and crafts that show your appreciation, rather than requesting any one thing - though that could also be done at this time as well.  Truly, though, I feel this celebration is geared more toward honoring the presence of Hestia within our lives at this time.  


Feast of the Ass.  Though the name is rather laughable, this festival takes place upon January 15th, and celebrates the donkey that saved Hestia from being raped by the God Priapus.

Hestia's Day.  This is a ritual that is dedicated to honoring Hestia in the kitchen (as such, the ritual should take place there rather than at the altar).  She is remembered for being the goddess of the pantry, and is asked to make our homes warm, thriving, and sacred in Her name.

Light a red candle for Hestia. Make an offering of incense.  Set out freshly baked bread, milk, and salt.  Do any kitchen work that is required at this time, including cleaning, preserving, baking, cooking, or other miscellaneous kitchen witchery.  When ready, invoke the goddess.

Flame of the Heart, Keeper of the Inner Circle
Faceless One, Eldest of the Olympians
Lady of the Pantry whose open hands 
Dispense hospitality, chimney, and cooking fire
Lady of routine and dailiness, 
To miss your quiet strength in the rush of our sudden lives 
would be a great disservice as forgetting the air we breathe
You who are the comforting hearth where we began 
And the inner warmth that we will come home to, 
Make this place home for all of us.  
Make this hearth a home of the every day, 
The ordinary morning and noon, 
The expected evening and the consoling night.  
Teach us to take our time, Lady.  
Teach us of the holiness of step after step, chore after chore, 
Moving in small circles around the hearth of our own beings.  

Chant:

Circle round the hearthfire
Join our hands as one
Remember the Virgin Flame burns
Ageless as the Wheel turns
The place for which the heart years
Since the tribe has begun.  

If any other magickal working, consecration or dedication needs to be done in Hestia's name, now is the time to do it.  Afterwards, feast upon the fresh bread sprinkled with salt and upon the milk.

Day of Hestia Tamia.  Typically celebrated on Septemeber 9th, this is a harvest celebration in honor of Hestia.  This ritual honors the charity and generosity of Hestia, and is done with a charitable heart.  Canning, baking, and other gifts are made at this time with the intention of giving them away to others.  Doing charitable work with soup kitchens is greatly encouraged at this time, as well as inviting visitors over for drinks and food.

A brown candle should be lit to honor Hestia (preferably a fire in the fireplace) and any incense appropriate to the goddess.  The table should be laid with freshly baked bread.  Lay out the table with any canned or boxed food that you would like to donate to charity.  Have supplies ready for your charitable baking and crafts.  Invoke Hestia:

Call:  Hail Hestia Tamia, Lady of the Pantry!!  

Response:  Hail, Keeper of the Storehouse!  

Call:  Hail, Lady who counts each grain, that each of your charges may eat, that there be no waste and no greed,that there be no inequality in hunger.  

Response:  We must sacrifice to Hestia!  

Call:  This is the saying of our ancestors, but they did not mean food thrown into flames, or rivers; 
this is not the way of the Lad of the Storehouse.  
To sacrifice to Hestia is to put that foodin the bellies of others than yourselves.  
To sacrifice t Hestia is to bring in strangers from the cold and the wet, and offer them food and drink, no matter how little you have.  
To sacrifice to Hestia is to remember the Law of Hospitality, and how the Gods all love that Law, and that the stranger most soiled and tattered may be a vessel of the Gods in disguise.  

Response:  We must sacrifice to Hestia!  

Call:  For the counting of one's resources is a holy act, sacred to Hestia Tamia and her never-emptying pantry.  
May our own pantry be as generous, Lady whose face is never shown, as she would rather be known by her deeds and her gentle presence.  

Response:  Hail Hestia Tamia!  

Spend the rest of the day taking inventory, planning meals, and making food, drink and crafts to give to others.  If you have harvested anything from your garden, now would be the time to prepare those items for drying, or if they are already dried, to put them in jars, cans, herbal blends, etc.  If you can, donate your time at a soup kitchen and drop off the food that you wish to donate to a charity drive.

Heath Blessing.  Celebrated January 28th, this is a nice little ritual honoring the hearth, and asking Hestia for protection from fire-related disasters upon the home.

Build an altar before the hearth with a red cloth and a single red candle carved with the rune of Fire.  Anoint yourself with ashes, either from the hearth or from the incense offerings for Hestia.  Light the candle and incense.  Invoke the Hearth Goddess:

Hestia of the warm hearthstone
Hestia of the naked flame
Vesta of the rising smoke
Lady who warms us as you warmed our ancestors, 
Lady whose touch cooks our food, 
Lady around whom we gather on the coldest nights, 
Fire that draws us in, fire tamed, fire who is our friend, 
Never let us forget your care lest you become wild and strike back.  
Stay here in your hearth and protect our home form your anger.  
Speak truth to us and let us bear your truth on our tongues.  
Never leave us for long lest we fret to whom we owe
The next winter's comfort and salvation.  

Chant:  Ken Ken Ken.  

As everyone chants, each stepsfor ward and draws the rune of Fire, Ken, on the hearth with their finger.  The hearth is ceremoniously re-lit with the candle, and dinner-making commences.

Feast of the Kitchen Goddess.  Celebrated on the 8th of November, this ritual asks forgiveness for all acts of pettiness that go against the hearth, home, and particularly kitchen that year.  The old protector of the kitchen is ceremoniously burned, and a new one takes its place.

Decorate the altar in red and blue colors.  With offering ready to be made to the new kitchen goddess.  Have a pot of honey placed nearby.  Invoke the Kitchen Goddess:

Lady who watches over the heart of our home, 
Lady who fills our bellies and who observes all our faults, 
Today we send you to heaven on a curl of smoke from your hearth.  
We ask you, be generous, and speak well of our faults, 
Have compassion on our humanity.  
Lady who guides our hands, send us pots that do not burn, 
And enough love and peace 
To infuse every morsel of nourishment that we here consume.  

Each person comes forward, dips their finger in the honey, and touches it to the Kitchen Goddess while asking them silently or aloud to forgive whatever pettiness occurred in the kitchen that year, be it actions or thoughts.  Take the Kitchen Goddess to the hearth and ceremoniously burn her while everyone claps and chants rhythmically.

Fire of the hearth, Fire of the wine, 
Fire of the heart, Fire of the mind, 
Fire of the Art, Fire out of time.  

Bring out the new kitchen goddess to replace the old.  Anoint her, and giver her offerings of food, drink, and incense.  Give her the place of honor at your table while you eat.

NaNoWriMo Prep!

For those of you who are not familiar with this challenge, NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month - a challenge where authors (or anyone who loves writing) attempts to write 50,000 words for a novella/novel/play/whatever during the span of 30 days in November, starting on the 1st.  The community there is wonderful, and once registered on the site, you can put in information about your novel, your writing experience, connect with buddies to keep you motivated, and participate in forums to discuss all of your frustrations and triumphs around writing.

I have participated before, but failed each time.  When I tried to write while working two jobs, it just didn't work out - I was too tired, too cranky, and couldn't establish a routine because my hours were random each week.  And since November was the start of the Christmas shopping season, I found myself pulling doubles most days of the week, and didn't actually have a day off for most of the month.  Another year, I over-planned - I sat down, did extensive character profiles, figured out each scene within each chapter, and took my time exploring every facet of the story.  Unfortunately, I did this for a solid month before writing, so when it came time to put it all down on paper, I was just really sick of my story.  A couple other times I didn't make it through the challenge for lack of an exciting idea, establishing a routine, and having a sufficient support group.

I have learned much over my attempts at NaNoWriMo.

Technically speaking, my prep started a the weekend of the 25th of Ocotber.  Yeah, I know, it was only a week!  Well, I kind of forgot about it until I was browsing Youtube (everyone knows it's my obsession, along with Pinterest >.>) and saw someone posting a NaNoWriMo prep video.  It suddenly dawned on me - oh yeah! - NaNo starts in a week!  So I rushed off to prepare.

There were so many things to do in such a small space of time!  I needed to figure out what story I was going to choose, flesh out some characters, come up with a general plot, and figure out how I was going to establish a writing routine.  I went to the internet immediately.

First thing I did was post in the Season of the Seeker group on Facebook.  This is my all-time favorite group!  I joined initially when I started working through the Season of the Seeker group, hosted by Ahneke Greystone, whom I met over on Youtube (check out her channel Mirth and Reverence).  She is an amazing lady, and I've learned so much - though I am still far behind the others in my yahoo group as part of the Greystone Path.  I'm making progress, though!

Anyway, I posted there if there were any deities that other practitioners had connected with for projects such as novel-writing.  I got some really good answers and replies, and I took the time to do some research.  Unfortunately, none really called out to me - except for maybe Hermes, but for an entirely different reason, which I may go into in a different article - so I decided that, in the end, I would not work with a specific deity for novel-writing this month.  This doesn't mean I won't in the future, just that, at this point in time, I'm not really mean to.

I then looked up various "how to write a novel" articles and didn't really find much helpful information - most of the techniques either didn't work for me, or was the sort I used back when I over-planned a novel.  Part of the fun, for me, is exploring where my characters go - if I have too much set in stone, the appeal of writing is lost; it's more like writing a paper for class than exercising my creative thought process.

A lot my time was spent for the first few days on what story I would write.  It suddenly dawned on me: hello!  You've roleplayed in the Regency era for ages.  You've been pushing specific characters for plots on those roleplay sites for ages.  You've been researching this era for ages.  Why not take the story into your own hands?  Take those characters and write about them!

Well, I kind of felt a little on the stupid side for not considering it before, but that's when I decided on my project: to write about my three favorite pre-made characters (with extensive character profiles already created, as well as basic family connections and reasons for being in London).  I settled on the date of 1811, the beginning of the Regency, just because that felt right.  Plus, I wouldn't have to do too much in the way of research of events that happened that year that might affect my characters - most of that stuff happened the following year and later - which would leave me more time to really focus on character development of my characters rather than including historically accurate events of the time.

Then I came across M. Kirin on Youtube.  Oh my gosh!  What a lifesaver!  His methods of story crafting, preparation and fleshing out were in sync with the way I do things.  So, I spent some time watching his videos and following his suggestions on writing out plots, character connections, etc.

While I was searching for things, I noticed that my back was really taking its toll.  I had a hard time focusing at my desk, as it was facing a wall, away from everything else - something I have never really been too fond of.  When my boyfriend borrowed a square card table from his brother, for the longest time I had moved everything to that table, and set it up in front of the windows - I could see the TV to my right, the yard, sky and trees to my left, and had a pretty good view of the rest of the apartment to my front.  It was perfect.  But then he had to go and take that back, so I moved it all back to my desk... and it just wasn't working.



So I got out our card table.  Why didn't I do that from the beginning?  Well, we have a buffet-length card table, bought for Pathfinder sessions (there are seven of us who play, including my boyfriend, the DM, who doesn't sit at the table during sessions).  It's big, it's bulky, and it's really cheaply made - it doesn't even flatten in the center folding part.  Plus, it's made of textured plastic that picks up lint like crazy!  It's size was mostly my objection.  But I put it up, wiped it down, and immediately wished I hadn't, as the paper towel I had used actually made it look dirtier than it was before.



On one end, I set up the laptop and the monitor (the laptop screen is broken, so I have to have it connected to a monitor if I want to see what I'm doing on that thing).  I include two coasters, one for my morning cup of tea, and one for a tall glass of cold water, as well as my hand-written plot and character details.  Right under the monitor, on a Subway napkin (for better traction and cushion) I have a collection of crystals that I selected - quartz for focus and clear intention, citirine for breaking through writer's block, all of the blue stones I possess for creative expression (linked to the throat chakra), and fool's gold for manifestation of my novel.

I should note that I keep my skull opalite on my person at the moment.  It helps me focus on the positive, gives me uplifting energy to complete my goals, and helps a lot with my mood shifts/swings.  Not to mention this crystal likes to hum to me.  :)

I also have mala beads on this table, because they dig into wrist when I type - I have a nasty habit of resting my wrists against the keyboard/table while typing, so it gets uncomfortable when I'm wearing my beads.  They were meant to be a necklace, but the length isn't as long as I like it, so I just wrap it three times around my left wrist, usually.  I also keep Georgette Heyer's Regency World nearby for quick reference - that book is amazing for Regency-era stuff, by the way.  Just awesome.  :)

On the other end, I set up my tarot reading space.  :)  There's a round metal plate from the dollar store that I set up a candle holder with decorative clear glass stones; I use it as an incense holder, and change out the glass stones every week.  Behind the candleholder I have some mini-size matches in a box, and in front of the candle holder, though it's hard to see, I have rose quartz, clear quartz, and amethyst chunks.  My cards - the Medieval Cat Tarot and the Earth Magic oracle decks - are usually wrapped up in my new scarf (from Walmart - and though I don't really like buying from there, I do love my scarf!  It's folded in half to get the square size I wanted, with one side being gold with blue accents, and the reverse side being blue with gold accents.  It also feels super soft and silky, and has a fringe at the ends.).  I even did a tarot reading for a friend over the phone the day I set it up.  I still have to do a reading for another friend, but we're trying to sync up schedules so that she can come over in person.



Anyway.

I also read some of the articles recommended on the NaNoWriMo blog, and got some pretty useful information.  The most important to me at the time was the article about establishing a routine.  I know from experience that I have a love/hate relationship with routine.  It's good because I don't forget to specific things once it's established.  It's bad because monotony = boredom, so after awhile if I don't switch it up, I'll lose interest completely and make any and every excuse I can find to avoid doing my routine.  Plus, if something happens - like babysitting or going out of town - that breaks my routine, it's really hard to get back into it.

My current, newly-created writing routine:

  • Wake up.  
  • Check phone - email, facebook, calendar updates, any other social media updates that have appeared since I've went to sleep. If I'm feeling a bit groggy, then I might play a morning game of solitaire.  
  • Feed the cats, replace their water, put on water for tea.  
  • Shower (if I haven't the night before - on really cold notes when I have a chill, I take a lava-hot shower; if I had a shower the night before, I just wash my face real quick), dress, do my hair, put on makeup, slather some lotion on me, spritz with body spray, and get dressed.  
  • Make my tea, get a glass of water and ice, and turn on my laptop and youtube (through the roku box).  I have a youtube channel with some popular classical musicians from the Regency era playing.  Most of them are 1 to 2 hours long, so I usually only listen to one or two a day, depending on the length.  I keep the remotes near the laptop to adjust the sound as necessary.  
  • Pull up Google Chrome, load the internet page for Correct Forms of Address, and the page for Regency Name Generator (I'm lazy with names, admittedly).  I also start up yWriter, iDailyDiary and Microsoft Word.  I write my story using Word, and then copy and paste the contents into yWriter, iDailyDiary, save the Word file onto my pc, and then copy it into Dropbox (which auto-starts when the pc is turned on).  If one of these becomes corrupted, deleted, or otherwise unusable, I have several other options available to me, including a back-up online through Dropbox.  :)  
  • Write!  I typically set my phone to let me know when an hour has passed.  After the hour is up, I get up, use the bathroom, stretch my legs.  Then I go back and sit down for another hour or so.  

During this time, I completely ignore my phone (except for the hour timer).  No phone calls, no looking at it for updates, no texting.  My morning routine is reserved strictly for writing.  So far, so good!

I don intend on getting a pronged folder for my notes.  They were taken on computer paper, but I punched holes in them - I just don't have a spare folder not in use at the moment.  They're in danger of being wet - my cats like to knock over water when I'm not paying attention - so it's something I want to get soon.  It will probably be blue - the color of inspiration, communication, and creativity (to me).  :)

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Pagan Homemaking - My Experience with Hestia



Lately, I've been drawn to spiritual housework.  I've always believed that a clean home is a reflection of a clean mind; and I am generally more focused, happier, and positive when my environment is clean and organized.  But I had a problem doing this - there was no variety, and it could be quite boring.  Add that on top to a general feeling of not being appreciated for the work I do within the home, and the fact that I just didn't enjoy cleaning and organizing.  I struggled with this for years.

It wasn't until the last year of having my own place with my boyfriend that it became apparent that it was my perspective that was holding me back.  I've begun to realize that the feeling of being trapped is often one imposed upon myself - my limitations are set by me, and me alone.  This was a big realization for me!  I manifested everything in my life - and if I wanted to change anything in my life, then it was up to me to do it.

I can't really say why I chose this first aspect to work on (housekeeping).  Perhaps it was a draw to Hestia; perhaps it was Hestia calling me; it could be that I just wasn't ready to change other aspects of my life yet.  Whatever the reason, I began thinking about Hestia a lot, and I seemed to come across a lot of information about her and keeping house in general quite often, and usually in unexpected places.  It really wasn't until my own self-imposed limitations - the biggest being keeping up with the house in general - began affecting my relationship that I started actually working to change this.

First, I did a spell.  The spell was intended to aid me in working things out with my boyfriend on some of the issues regarding the home.  It took a full two moon cycles for this spell to come into fruition - it's possible that this spell is still in the works now - and it was astonishing.  It involved some time away from home (not in a negative way; I was invited to stay a week with my stepmother to help her with her home, and since she was near a lot of my family, it would give me an opportunity to visit and catch up with them).  Being there gave me a chance to really think about the issues and to come to a different perspective.

It also helped reveal that there were outside influences that I was permitting to interfere.  This was supported by a tarot reading I did for myself, the first I had ever done that I actually was able to decipher and accurately read - a real triumph for myself!  Essentially, I talk to my stepmother a lot.  She usually calls me several times throughout the day, when she's bored or needs someone to vent to.  I don't mind that part, but she was always very vocal about her opinion on the dynamics of my relationship, even when it wasn't welcome.  She is in a dark place within her life right now, very angry and bitter, dealing with grief for multiple people on different levels; it's understandable that she's a mess, and since her daughter died years ago, death in general always reminded her of the child she lost and the guilt she held associated with it.  But I also realized that her anger and bitterness bled into all subjects and was projected on other people.

It turns out that I'm more sensitive to energies and moods of other people than I had been aware of before.  Whenever someone was extremely sad, angry, excited, enthusiastic, etc, I've always been able to infected with their emotion, so to speak - but I never thought of it that way.  I just assumed that they were infectious people, or that I was so bonded with these people that I felt a lot of compassion for them - that I could see it form their point of view.  It never crossed my mind that I was picking up on their emotions and state of mind.

But, when I lost my phone for awhile, and I had no outside influences onto my daily routine and behavior, suddenly 75% of all issues, annoyances, and aggravations that I experienced on a daily basis disappeared.  I didn't have someone whispering in my ear (so to speak) that I was being taken for granted; that my boyfriend was using me; that he was no good for me, that I deserved better, etc.  My stepmother had been trying to get me to break up with my boyfriend for awhile, and though he infuriated me, and though I considered it a time or two over the last three years, I couldn't figure out why I felt like the relaitonship was done.  Intellectually, I realized that we had some work to do, that things weren't always even between us (and that swung both ways, honestly - sometimes I was at fault, sometimes he was).  But I was never ready to leave him - it just didn't feel like the right thing to do.

I realized that my moods were highly susceptible to the energies of those I interacted with - even when they weren't here in person.  When I had no one telling me I was being wronged, slighted, or taken advantage of, I had no such feelings.  For two weeks, I experienced some of the smoothest times I have ever had with my boyfriend.  Only part of that was due to working with Hestia - the first part was simply me and my boyfriend living our lives with no outside influences except positive ones that we consciously invited into our lives.

I did find my phone - it wasn't really lost, per se, just buried in my purse to where I couldn't find it.  And when I did find it, I didn't say anything.  I turned it off and left it be for another week.  During that week, I erected an altar to Hestia in my kitchen and began working with her everyday.

For those of you who don't know much about Hestia, she is the Greek goddess of the hearth who presides over the home and community -  blood family, households, inner circles, and communities on both small and large scales.  She is essentially a fire goddess who is highly associated with the home; more often than not, she is depicted as the sacred flame upon altars rather than a physical representation.  There are only a handful of myths associated with this goddess, primarily because she deliberately chose to stay out of the drama of the other gods - she was the first Titan to be born, the first to be eaten by Cronus, and the last to be regurgitated; she was courted by both Apollo and Poseidon at the same time but chose to be an eternal virgin rather than to start a war among the Olympians over choosing one; she was nearly raped by Priapus; and she gave up her place upon the thrones of Olympus for Dionysus in favor of tending the fires.

To me, Hestia chooses to live a quiet life free of drama.  She is beholden to no one; all the acts of generosity, hospitality, and servitude (in the sense of caring for the household and making guests comfortable) are done out of love and devotion to her family and friends.  She treats her home with the same respect that most reserve for their sacred space - her home is her sacred space, and it is her responsibility to maintain a peaceful, loving environment.  This resonated with me in a way that few other things ever have.

I am not working at the moment, so I take care of our home.  I've been wanting to connect with my spirituality in a different way than I had been - I wanted to bring in the magical, spiritual aspects of my practice as part of my daily mundane life.  One of the best ways to honor Hestia is through tending the house and being a good hostess - so I gave it a try.

Each day, when I'm ready to start cleaning and doing chores (I don't like the term chores; I prefer to call it my "daily routine") around the house, I shower, dress, put my hair up, and go to the altar in my kitchen.  I invoke Hestia, light a candle dedicated to her, offer her incense, and say a prayer in her honor.  I then start my daily routine while the candle and incense burn.

There was a shift in my perception.  Rather than cleaning being something I really didn't like doing, something I dreaded, it became a spiritual practice.  When I clean, I know I am honoring Hestia; all I need to do is speak to her, or even just think to her, and I know she hears me.  That's enough for me now - I'm still establishing that relationship with her, building that foundation of trust.  Cleaning, for me, has become an act of active meditation.  It's not something that I really view as "fun" or "exciting," but it is definitely something that I no longer detest doing.

I also noticed that when I look at it from the standpoint of active meditation and forging a spiritual bond with a deity, I no longer procrastinate on big jobs.  Things like cleaning the oven, stove burners, reorganizing the closet, scrubbing the bathtub - none of that seems quite so daunting.  I do space out big projects, and don't really take on much on days when I feel tired or drained; but it's no longer something I dread doing.

Since I started to work with Hestia, I've also seen a marked difference in the energy of my home.  It just feels more comfortable, more harmonious.  I know I have some things to work on with boundaries - this is not a new issue; but I did realize that I did not set boundaries with my stepmother, which led to me allowing her to affect my life in a negative way - but when it comes to my home life and my relationship with my boyfriend, things are very peaceful.  We are less prone to snap at each other; we talk about things that bother us much more calmly; and it's always nice to walk in the door to a clean home that smells nice.  Having a home that is prepped for unexpected visitors at all times is something new for me - I'm no longer embarrassed when someone stops by out of the blue, because I put consistent effort into my home.

And it's not for my boyfriend, not for the guests, and not for Hestia.  It's for myself.

I took inspiration from Hestia on creating sacred space.  I have a permanent altar in my home; I never stop and sit at my altar unless I'm in a certain mindset.  I never yell while at the altar; I do frequent maintenance there, and treat it with more respect than any other part of my home.  But why?  Is my home not a sacred space in and of itself?  Shouldn't I treat my home with the same reverence and love that I treat my altar?  Once this realization hit me, I knew I needed to treat my home the same way.  That was the biggest catalyst for my experiences.

I love my home.  Now I'm treating it with the respect and honor it deserves.  My life has been improved because of it.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Things I Wish I Knew Then



I came across a few videos on youtube recently, as well as a new site called Real Wiccan Info that really got me thinking about things I wish I knew when I first started practicing.  So I compiled a list!

I wish I knew back then that...

  • Wicca is not an ancient religion that predates Christianity.  I was very influential in the beginning, and came across several books claiming this, only to feel quite shocked and scandalized when I realized that there was no proof!  I really wish I knew from the beginning that Wicca is a modern religion that is based on some practices that come from ancient/older traditions/religions/mystery schools, etc.  
  • Witchcraft is not a requirement of Wicca.  I was quite under the impression that to be Wiccan, you had to practice some form of magic.  The books never stated as much, but that's what I got from it.  To be honest, the magical aspect was one of the things that intrigued me about Wicca, but I really wish it had been stated quite clearly in the beginners books that I read and on the sites that I referenced online that practicing witchcraft does not mean you're a Wiccan, and vice versa.  
  • Tools are unnecessary.  All the information I had at my fingertips had huge, detailed sections about tools - I thought I needed them to practice, and had I had enough money, I probably would have blown it on one of those overpriced altar kits for myself.  As it is, I have come to experience that you don't need tools - and there have been many times when I've practiced with nothing more than a single candle, and sometimes with just myself outside.  Tools offer a focus, which is nice, but definitely not a requirement.  Also, I realized that I didn't need to spend tons of money on tools - while those reserved strictly for ritual use are always a nice addition, using everyday items on hand works just as well.  
  • Spells are not the answer to everything.  I didn't have too much trouble with this, but it seemed that all my reference material had a spell for every little thing, which implied (or so I thought) that in order to be successful, I had to do a spell for every little mundane thing to ensure that things went the way I wanted.  This is, of course, absolutely ridiculous.  My approach nowadays are to use spells for an extra boost for major nerve-wracking situations, and to help me change a situation that all feasible mundane options have failed to bring about.  
  • "Wiccan" or "pagan" is not affiliated with a dress style.  I didn't follow this trend, but those I came across with an interest in Wicca or paganism all seemed to dress similarly: goth, alt-rock, emo, heavy eyeliners, huge ankh or pentacle chains, and they all seemed to glare a lot.  It made me feel as though I wasn't doing something right, that to truly be Wiccan/pagan, I had to dress this way.  It made me feel unnecessarily isolated at a time in my life where I already felt isolated to begin with.  
  • There is a difference between Traditional Wicca and Neo-Wicca.  I was under the impression in the beginning that there was no real difference between the two, and it wasn't until much later that I realized - and can now identify - the vast differences between them.  Now I know that not to be true. 
  • Never incorporate an act into your practice unless/until you know it's purpose and agree with it.  This was a huge lesson I learned the hard way.  I did everything the books told me, because I thought that I was supposed to.  It never really occurred to me to question why in the beginning - not until I began noticing opposing acts and vastly different styles of doing the same thing.  Now, I don't include anything unless I know where it came from, why it's used, and even then only if the action resonates with me.  
  • There is no rush to find a matron/patron deity.  I have put so much pressure on myself in the past to find my matron and patron, that it created a sort of... block... within me.  That block prevented me from really establishing any sort of relationship with a specific deity at all, though I did start a very basic relationship with a general macro view of the Goddess.  Now, I'm just taking my time, looking through pantheons, learning about the culture, and only when I feel absolutely ready do I approach a deity.  
  • Your personal space represents your state of mind.  This was something I learned from experimenting with what I learned from a feng shui book, but it's something that absolutely rings true for me.  Opening sacred space, meditating, spellwork, celebrating the sabbats, all of that - and just my general state of being - is highly affected by what is around me.  If it's dusty, dirty, and cluttered, then I find my personal work suffers, and my mood is more unstable or otherwise not as great as it could be.  I don't really like the act of cleaning so much but I do try to keep on top of general room and house upkeep.  Not only does it lift my spirits to be in a nice, neat, and clean room, but it's a source of personal pride.  
  • What's right for someone else is not necessarily right for you.  I think every newbie goes through this discovery.  We all read books that say their way is the right way, that such-and-such must be done in a specific order - but what I didn't realize as a beginner on this path was that there are numerous methods of getting things done.  I don't have to follow the advice of the first person I come across, and it takes trial and error to figure out what works best for me and what doesn't.  Two practitioners can try out the same spell with the same tools and ingredients, at the same time, and come up with two completely different outcomes.  The same goes toward meditation methods, casting circles, charging items, purification of self, cleansing tools, consecration, etc.  
  • Journaling is extremely important.  Oh, how I wish I was a more avid journalist in the beginning!  Right now, I have a little book that I found on clearance at Michael's several years ago, and I write descriptions of tarot readings I've done, thoughts on my path, descriptions of meditations, journeying, spellwork, sabbat celebrations, rituals in general, and anything else that happens to be spiritual related.  This book is something I've written in on and off for several years; being able to see how far I've come is amazing to me, and it's inspirational.  How I wish I had a journal from the very beginning... 
  • Have a journal for at least a year before starting a Book of Shadows.  I don't think I would have listened to this advice, but I wish I knew how frustrating it would be, starting a BoS without having a journal to reference.  I started mine with very little written out before hand, and what I did have, was on looseleaf paper, spread about all my stuff.  It's been a year since I started compiling an official BoS, and I have found that I should have started off with a journal form first - the sort where I include information I've looked up, along with personal thoughts, and never adding anything before vast research has been made and personal experience to add.  I find that now I have to go back and frequently edit what I already have down, or scrap entire pages completely, and it's rather exhausting.  Also, I believe a small journal-size book would be beneficial for circle work, since my binder is heavy, massive, and there's no place to really put it for reference that doesn't create problems.  
  • There is no rush.  The biggest thing for me, is that I always compared my own spiritual growth with others, and always expected to grow faster.  Maybe it's because of that competitive part of me, or maybe I felt I needed to prove to myself - and others - that I belonged on this path, and therefore, would excel quickly.  Either way, I rushed through a lot of things that I had to later pause and revisit.  I wish I knew then that everyone moves at their own pace, and there was nothing wrong with sticking with one lesson longer than others, or whatever the situation might have been.  

Though I wish I knew these things from the beginning - it certainly would have made things a lot less confusing - I can't help but appreciate the trials and learning experience.  I doubt I would have had the same lessons learned had I known all of these things - whether that's good or bad, I can't say, but I can state that I value the learning experience regardless.  

What are some things that you wish you knew when you first started your path?  

Friday, November 29, 2013

Coming Out of the Broom Closet



I hadn't intended on "coming out of the broom closet" as they say.  At least, not the way I had.

The night before Thanksgiving here in the U.S., I went over to my boyfriend's mother's house to help her make pies.  She makes two types; a pale type and a darker one.  Justin, my boyfriend, favors the light type and I thought I'd help her out (she makes three for her own thanksgiving, and promised five to her church) and learn the recipe all in one fell swoop.

Everything went remarkably well.  She's a very well-read individual, very family-oriented, calm, sweet.  I've never heard her say anything harsh or even imply she wished nothing but the best for anyone.  So I'm not so sure why I was so hesitant about telling her that I wasn't a Christian, other than a presumption on my part.  Every devout person I have talked to about it before - and I'll be honest, it's not like I've told hundreds of people, just a handful - they all seemed to react the same way: they insist I need to be saved, that I'm going to hell, and if only I let Jesus into my heart....

Well, you know the drill.

So I assumed that she would act the same.  And when the subject of religion came up, I started opening up to her instinctively.  I told her that I wasn't Christian; and she turned to me with genuine interest.  "Then what are you?"

I smiled nervously, realizing at that moment that I opened the door too far to slink back into the shadows.  "I'm Wiccan."

And just like that, I said it.

Sure, it doesn't seem like much.  Just two little words.  All my previous experiences were there, cautioning me in the background.  Inside, I cringed and held my breath.

But she just smiled, shook her head, and continued with her conversation.  Just like that.  No condescension, no proselytizing.  I wasn't treated differently in any way.  There was just gentle acceptance.  It was quite refreshing.

Ultimately, I learned something very important from that experience.  I can't allow my experiences with those who are not as open-minded or well-read cloud my judgment; what they did does not necessarily mean that others will do the same.  I allowed an inner shadow to control that part of my life, to generate unfounded fear and to act on said fear.  Now that I have recognized the fear and conquered it - even if it wasn't intentionally done - I feel as though a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  I can't believe how freeing it is to make such a simple statement.  Does it mean I'll tell everyone I meet?  Certainly not.  But it does mean that I am more willing to reveal that part of myself when the subject comes up, rather than carefully avoiding it.  It means that I no longer expect anyone I tell to react in the worst way possible.

I also realized that if I wish to gain something, I have to be willing to risk something.  I can't expect to reach a new level of trust or closeness within a friendship if I'm not willing to reveal something personal.  I believe it was Birch from the Sacred Grove who said that equal exchange is necessary for those things that aren't necessary, and that that seems to be something that more and more neopagans seem to ignore or refuse to believe.  But I think he has a valid point.  Everyone has the right to expect the bare necessities of survival, I think, and should feel free to ask their deities for help on that.  But when it comes to non-necessities... something must be given to be gained.  Equal exchange, even if simply in the form of energy rather than money, should be expected.  You can't expect everything for nothing.

I certainly hadn't expected that epiphany for Thanksgiving this year.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Being More Active in the Pagan Community



Being a solitary practitioner is a rather lonely endeavor, and one that not everyone would actively choose.  While I like to think that I don't choose this solitary path, I can't help but doubt it; just because I don't know another pagan personally (online in other states and countries don't count) does NOT mean I HAVE to be solitary.  It's within my power to change that.

I truly believe that we are all where we are in our lives due to our own choice, conscious or no.  If we're happy, content, and positive, it's because we choose to be; we put in the effort to go after the things that make us happy, have the wisdom to enjoy it while it lasts, and make a conscious effort to look on the bright side of things, thus attracting more good things (like attracts like).  But if we're bitter, depressed, and negative, it's because we want to be; we choose to dwell on bad situations, seek vengeance, allow ourselves to expect the worst from people and situations, fulfilling a self-proclaimed negative prophecy.  If we don't want to be or experience those things, then it is in our power to change our lives and mold it into what we want.  No, it's our responsibility to do those things.  No one else can do this but us.  

So to go on about how lonely it is being a solitary practitioner is one thing, if you have no choice.  But after I wrote out a long post to this blog and began proofreading, I realized something: not only was I whining about something that could be changed, I was doing it for compassion and consolation, not for brainstorming ideas on how to resolve the problem.  

Acknowledging you have a problem is always the first step in resolving it.  I do have a problem.  Defining and figuring out what the problem is is next.  So what is the problem?  Well, being a solitary practitioner isn't the problem.  There's nothing wrong with being a solitary; coven life isn't for everyone, and it allows me to tailor my path to what I feel is necessary.  It does lack the structure that I crave, though.  But being solitary isn't the problem; feeling disconnected from others of like mind is.  The feeling of loneliness and isolation is.  

And this is completely within my control to change.  If I want to have pagan friends, it's ultimately up to me to put myself out there.  I can complain about how not having transportation puts a damper on things, true.  I can even say that money is tight enough that public transportation would be somewhat difficult.  Difficult.  Not impossible.  

So, if I take a step back and look at the problem objectively, then there's bound to be a solution.  Let's see... 

Problem:  feeling of disconnect, loneliness and isolation from the pagan community.  
Opposite Extreme:  extremely busy social life and emotionally drained from said social life.  
Happy Medium:  a few pagan friends that I can hang out with frequently (i.e. weekly or every other week) basis (ideally), or more interaction between pagan groups/individuals online.  
Ways to achieve this:  
  • Apartment Gatherings.  Our apartment has a small monthly party for anyone who lives in the apartment complex to attend.  There's a theme, and you're expected to bring something to share with everyone else, but I suppose a bag of chips and salsa wouldn't be too complicated.  The chances of meeting another pagan there are pretty slim, but you never know unless you put yourself out there.  
  • Local Occult Shops.  There aren't any in the immediate area, but there are some within a 15 mile radius.  I think I saw a listing on Witchvox, but I'm not too sure on how accurate and up-to-date the list happens to be.  Maybe ask the employees here if there are any flyers or known groups within the area... if they offer classes, maybe check out how much they are and see if I can't join one.  
  • Meet Up.  I know some pagan groups use this site.  Maybe I should check it out and see if there are any groups in the area that use this site.  
  • Make Youtube Video Replies.  Probably the easiest thing to do, requiring the least effort.  I don't mind making videos - I've made plenty that I never actually uploaded to youtube for various reasons - so I think making video responses and replies to videos would be a good starting off point.  Even if it's just to say "loved your video!  Can't wait for the next one!"  
  • Reply to Blogs.  Including this one.  I've always preferred the writing medium, so I should probably use it more, lol.  There are several insanely good pagan blogs out there - like the above comment with youtube, I should probably make more of an effort to engage people in conversation.  
Possible Obstacles:  
  • Transportation.  The biggest issue.  I don't drive, and my boyfriend works second shift - not to mention the car has been overheating lately, and we don't have the spare money to replace the radiator just yet.  I've never been a fan of public transit, but I've used it before... I suppose I could use it again.  
  • Money.  Not too much of an issue.  I can scrape up $20 if I need to, but not more than that at a time, unfortunately.  
  • Shyness.  The biggest issue and underlying problem.  When I don't know you all that well, I prefer to observe quietly; I don't trust wholeheartedly or easily.  Trust is earned slowly, through gradual exchange in a safe environment.  I guess it's something that was ingrained into me being raised in the inner city of Cleveland... there are a lot of weird, sick, perverted people out in the world.  I was always taught to be on my guard.   
  • Self-Esteem.  My self-esteem is just not where it used to be.  Maybe some positive affirmations and small goals that can be relatively easy to accomplish will make this situation better.  Meditation with my rose quartz, focusing on self-love and acceptance may be something that would help, as well.  Rose quartz water may improve the situation temporarily, too.  
  • Procrastination.  I do have a habit of procrastinating whenever I possibly can.  It's not a good thing, and it is something that I do try to combat, but it gets the best of me sometimes.  Maybe I can set up one day a week where I force myself out of the house (weather permitting).  

Already, I feel better about the situation.  Now all I have to do is stick to it, and follow through!