Lately, I've been drawn to spiritual housework. I've always believed that a clean home is a reflection of a clean mind; and I am generally more focused, happier, and positive when my environment is clean and organized. But I had a problem doing this - there was no variety, and it could be quite boring. Add that on top to a general feeling of not being appreciated for the work I do within the home, and the fact that I just didn't enjoy cleaning and organizing. I struggled with this for years.
It wasn't until the last year of having my own place with my boyfriend that it became apparent that it was my perspective that was holding me back. I've begun to realize that the feeling of being trapped is often one imposed upon myself - my limitations are set by me, and me alone. This was a big realization for me! I manifested everything in my life - and if I wanted to change anything in my life, then it was up to me to do it.
I can't really say why I chose this first aspect to work on (housekeeping). Perhaps it was a draw to Hestia; perhaps it was Hestia calling me; it could be that I just wasn't ready to change other aspects of my life yet. Whatever the reason, I began thinking about Hestia a lot, and I seemed to come across a lot of information about her and keeping house in general quite often, and usually in unexpected places. It really wasn't until my own self-imposed limitations - the biggest being keeping up with the house in general - began affecting my relationship that I started actually working to change this.
First, I did a spell. The spell was intended to aid me in working things out with my boyfriend on some of the issues regarding the home. It took a full two moon cycles for this spell to come into fruition - it's possible that this spell is still in the works now - and it was astonishing. It involved some time away from home (not in a negative way; I was invited to stay a week with my stepmother to help her with her home, and since she was near a lot of my family, it would give me an opportunity to visit and catch up with them). Being there gave me a chance to really think about the issues and to come to a different perspective.
It also helped reveal that there were outside influences that I was permitting to interfere. This was supported by a tarot reading I did for myself, the first I had ever done that I actually was able to decipher and accurately read - a real triumph for myself! Essentially, I talk to my stepmother a lot. She usually calls me several times throughout the day, when she's bored or needs someone to vent to. I don't mind that part, but she was always very vocal about her opinion on the dynamics of my relationship, even when it wasn't welcome. She is in a dark place within her life right now, very angry and bitter, dealing with grief for multiple people on different levels; it's understandable that she's a mess, and since her daughter died years ago, death in general always reminded her of the child she lost and the guilt she held associated with it. But I also realized that her anger and bitterness bled into all subjects and was projected on other people.
It turns out that I'm more sensitive to energies and moods of other people than I had been aware of before. Whenever someone was extremely sad, angry, excited, enthusiastic, etc, I've always been able to infected with their emotion, so to speak - but I never thought of it that way. I just assumed that they were infectious people, or that I was so bonded with these people that I felt a lot of compassion for them - that I could see it form their point of view. It never crossed my mind that I was picking up on their emotions and state of mind.
But, when I lost my phone for awhile, and I had no outside influences onto my daily routine and behavior, suddenly 75% of all issues, annoyances, and aggravations that I experienced on a daily basis disappeared. I didn't have someone whispering in my ear (so to speak) that I was being taken for granted; that my boyfriend was using me; that he was no good for me, that I deserved better, etc. My stepmother had been trying to get me to break up with my boyfriend for awhile, and though he infuriated me, and though I considered it a time or two over the last three years, I couldn't figure out why I felt like the relaitonship was done. Intellectually, I realized that we had some work to do, that things weren't always even between us (and that swung both ways, honestly - sometimes I was at fault, sometimes he was). But I was never ready to leave him - it just didn't feel like the right thing to do.
I realized that my moods were highly susceptible to the energies of those I interacted with - even when they weren't here in person. When I had no one telling me I was being wronged, slighted, or taken advantage of, I had no such feelings. For two weeks, I experienced some of the smoothest times I have ever had with my boyfriend. Only part of that was due to working with Hestia - the first part was simply me and my boyfriend living our lives with no outside influences except positive ones that we consciously invited into our lives.
I did find my phone - it wasn't really lost, per se, just buried in my purse to where I couldn't find it. And when I did find it, I didn't say anything. I turned it off and left it be for another week. During that week, I erected an altar to Hestia in my kitchen and began working with her everyday.
For those of you who don't know much about Hestia, she is the Greek goddess of the hearth who presides over the home and community - blood family, households, inner circles, and communities on both small and large scales. She is essentially a fire goddess who is highly associated with the home; more often than not, she is depicted as the sacred flame upon altars rather than a physical representation. There are only a handful of myths associated with this goddess, primarily because she deliberately chose to stay out of the drama of the other gods - she was the first Titan to be born, the first to be eaten by Cronus, and the last to be regurgitated; she was courted by both Apollo and Poseidon at the same time but chose to be an eternal virgin rather than to start a war among the Olympians over choosing one; she was nearly raped by Priapus; and she gave up her place upon the thrones of Olympus for Dionysus in favor of tending the fires.
To me, Hestia chooses to live a quiet life free of drama. She is beholden to no one; all the acts of generosity, hospitality, and servitude (in the sense of caring for the household and making guests comfortable) are done out of love and devotion to her family and friends. She treats her home with the same respect that most reserve for their sacred space - her home is her sacred space, and it is her responsibility to maintain a peaceful, loving environment. This resonated with me in a way that few other things ever have.
I am not working at the moment, so I take care of our home. I've been wanting to connect with my spirituality in a different way than I had been - I wanted to bring in the magical, spiritual aspects of my practice as part of my daily mundane life. One of the best ways to honor Hestia is through tending the house and being a good hostess - so I gave it a try.
Each day, when I'm ready to start cleaning and doing chores (I don't like the term chores; I prefer to call it my "daily routine") around the house, I shower, dress, put my hair up, and go to the altar in my kitchen. I invoke Hestia, light a candle dedicated to her, offer her incense, and say a prayer in her honor. I then start my daily routine while the candle and incense burn.
There was a shift in my perception. Rather than cleaning being something I really didn't like doing, something I dreaded, it became a spiritual practice. When I clean, I know I am honoring Hestia; all I need to do is speak to her, or even just think to her, and I know she hears me. That's enough for me now - I'm still establishing that relationship with her, building that foundation of trust. Cleaning, for me, has become an act of active meditation. It's not something that I really view as "fun" or "exciting," but it is definitely something that I no longer detest doing.
I also noticed that when I look at it from the standpoint of active meditation and forging a spiritual bond with a deity, I no longer procrastinate on big jobs. Things like cleaning the oven, stove burners, reorganizing the closet, scrubbing the bathtub - none of that seems quite so daunting. I do space out big projects, and don't really take on much on days when I feel tired or drained; but it's no longer something I dread doing.
Since I started to work with Hestia, I've also seen a marked difference in the energy of my home. It just feels more comfortable, more harmonious. I know I have some things to work on with boundaries - this is not a new issue; but I did realize that I did not set boundaries with my stepmother, which led to me allowing her to affect my life in a negative way - but when it comes to my home life and my relationship with my boyfriend, things are very peaceful. We are less prone to snap at each other; we talk about things that bother us much more calmly; and it's always nice to walk in the door to a clean home that smells nice. Having a home that is prepped for unexpected visitors at all times is something new for me - I'm no longer embarrassed when someone stops by out of the blue, because I put consistent effort into my home.
And it's not for my boyfriend, not for the guests, and not for Hestia. It's for myself.
I took inspiration from Hestia on creating sacred space. I have a permanent altar in my home; I never stop and sit at my altar unless I'm in a certain mindset. I never yell while at the altar; I do frequent maintenance there, and treat it with more respect than any other part of my home. But why? Is my home not a sacred space in and of itself? Shouldn't I treat my home with the same reverence and love that I treat my altar? Once this realization hit me, I knew I needed to treat my home the same way. That was the biggest catalyst for my experiences.
I love my home. Now I'm treating it with the respect and honor it deserves. My life has been improved because of it.
